they say sometimes you have to hate someone,
because it's the only emotion that will cancel out
the love you had for them.
Getting over you is something I never dreamed I would have to do.
With you, there never was an ending.
Sure, we'd fight,
we'd slam emotional doors of rage,
but they were never locked.
I could always open them again
and you'd be there,
you were never gone so far
you couldn't come home.
You were never gone long enough
for me to feel alone.
I don't cry as much as I thought I would.
My tears have been spread out over our goodbye
so now that it's come to pass
I don't have much left.
I feel numb.
I lie in bed and think of nothing,
and pretend the ceiling is full of stars,
and that somewhere you are watching them,
Everything exhausts me,
nothing feels real,
this is a dream,
and tomorrow I'll wake up and realize
you were here all along.
But at the same time,
I don't regret leaving,
I don't regret goodbye,
I don't regret loving you.
I just fucking hate you.