If i was able to tell which way which road would take me. I would ask life which way was best. Is it not the only way that life takes you? The way that is best for you? And while I imagine i am laying down, staring at your face, the truth is I am here laying down in the dark staring at my closet door. And there are small noises that are coming from outside because we live in the second floor in a semi secluded apartment building.The sound of the television has become mute because the news was never an interest to me. And how am I to reach you when there is no way.

You are at work.

I have in life said i need room to breathe and think. But too much thinking has become my prison. If I had ever wondered what a dog waiting for its master felt, you have made me feel it. And yet still worthless because at your stepping prescence you continue to be invisible, and stray like a ghost. In your eyes, I am not even there. I am there to be your punching bag of failures. I am the cause for all the decisions you have made? I am slowly being pulled deeper into the drowning ocean. I have always been a survivor so why am I following you? All this, there is not enough happyness. They say once your bad overshadows the good, why is it that you are still standing there? I am filled with a million questions i dare no bring to your attention as you lay down beside below me.

We do not even sleep in the same bed.

And so is it true that this is love? Or is it that was secretly despise each other but dare not to let go in fear to be alone. Because when the lights are off, I am gone. And while i once waited like a dog for you. Loyal and loving. I want to run free. Retaining someone in chains is no longer love. Its being selfish. I was jealous, yes jealous and i will admit it, that you acknowledged others existence while i stood by your side without a say in every mistake you said.

And you did not love me.

At least not the way that I did.

My mouth was taped while your words trampled over me. And created tear drops drenching my face. After all of it. You left me with ease. With no hestitation of what this all meant.

And after all of it, you still attempted me to keep me in a leash.

But I always break free.

Freedom is my paradise.

The End

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