i don't blame you anymore

you were my mother once.
i imagine the resentment swelling with your stomach; i know you thought about ceasing my life before it began. i wonder if you watched the rising of the tide and dreamed it dragged me out of you to dissolve among the sand.
i've always feared the sea and it's unpredictability.
are you like me; fighting to get free of some invisible weight? or dreaming of the sea and the choices you wish you never had to make?
sympathy hasn't come easy. unanswered questions misplaced the blame. but the dreaming screaming days and nights are gone, replaced by shame.
you were my mother, once. and i forgive you.

The End

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