how much you meant to me

out of all the people in this sea of faces,

I’ll never forget those who stuck with me

through my first turbulent year of university.


First, there was Maya, with her raven hair

silver rings she wore on all but her middle fingers.

She held my hand during my first tattoo,

and held my hair the first time booze made me sick.

We slept together every night, my big spoon,

I didn’t have the words for it then,

but I loved her.


Next, was Sam, my dear Samwise.

The reason I got addicted to nicotine

and whenever I see a ginger, I still feel butterflies.

My unrequited crush, I slipped love notes beneath his door, anonymously,

and when I was drunk, he walked me home,

so I would keep my footing in the snow.

I told him there was nothing more I wanted than him,

and he told me to stop writing the notes,

and gently, broke my heart.


Evan had yellow hair but a dark personality,

he was moody and fabulous,

he introduced me to the gay culture,

to the lesbians with their crew cuts and facial piercings.

I fell for one named Beck, and one named Megan fell for me.

After a night of psychedelic drugs, I became Megan’s first kiss,

and the very next day, I’d moved on,

yet she still longed for my lips.


Joey had a strawberry face

and big thick glasses that made him look like a raccoon.

He was always so angry,

when I was upset I would tell him

and he would rage for me.

He had tattoos of pokémon and garbage cans,

and was terrified that if his clothes were left in the dryer too long,

they would burn,

so at midnight when he did his laundry,

Maya and Samwise and I

would come sit on the machines

singing Mumford and Sons

and other mindless melodies,

until the late hours of the night

melted into early morning.


I no longer talk to any of these people,

nor have I seen them since I was eighteen.

No longer friends, they are just names, just memories

but I long for them, for they shaped me.

How do you cope when the people you

want to grow old with

just pass through your life

without any warning of where or when

they will go?

But, I guess that’s the way the world turns,

and all I can do is not forget

just how much

you meant to me.

The End

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