how can you be home sick
for a home that doesn't not exist?
I so badly want to love here,
because I should,
because it's better,
but all I can think of is you.
Here we go living our arrogant lives
too good, too cool to talk
so that by the time we do it's not a matter of swallowing pride
but parading how much better off
I know I'm going to love here,
because it's beautiful,
because it's me,
but right now I miss you so badly,
and I long to swallow my own pride and tears
and reach out to you, despite my fears,
but I won't
because I can't.
It was the last promise to you that I had.
For your loving.