Hilarity Haiku

Its weird, random, makes no sense and has nothing to do with Japan except for a brief reference, and I hope you like it! And don't leave me to rave alone! Grab a pen and write your own hilarious haikus.

Hallucinations

Hopping down a groundhog hole

Filled with tater tots.

 

The dishwasher speaks

In forgotten languages

Tells you to buy soap.

 

A wheel spins quickly

From inside my head and yet

The hamster is dead.

 

On a low ceiling

Hangs an obese manatee

Dangerous to all.

 

The hick from the hills

Is offended by your flicks

And wields a large axe.

 

We sit here staring

And still don’t understand

Why you eat beetles.

 

Ludicrous and wet

Megapiranha flies and

Smacks you for watching.

 

From your worst nightmares

Comes Amityville toaster

Burning your bagels.

 

Monster cow grazes

And dares you to insult him

On his New York accent.

 

“Enough already!”

Says Godzilla with a shriek.

Do something less dumb.

 

We raise the dead with

The aid of fab cosmetics

And call them celebs.

 

The Mushroom Men watch

From beneath the rotting trunks

Realtors of the void!

 

Disturbing Carny

Holds a strange yellow towel

To mop up bloodstains

 

In a seedy lodge

Sham-wow man gets smacked to jail.

By a nameless chick.

 

Catastrophe duck

Quacks from the bowels of Hell

Fiendish and feathered.

 

Mad apocalypse!

The frog waits in the blender

Zombified, soupy.


 My cat knows Kung-fu

She fights bots from Tomorrow

Hah! Take that, Skynet!

 

So the void scares you?

Try going to McDonalds

Cardiac horror.

 

A parade of apes

Trumpet the horn of folly

Earth’s very Court Jesters.

 

Aliens watch down

Stupefied beyond measure

As we twirl batons.

 

The Golden Muffin

Beckons with yummy promise

From Ghoul’s bakery.

 

Great protagonize

Allows me to write freely

From this padded cell.

 

 

 

The End

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