He Loves Me Not

I walk down every single street,
every street,
i pick pluck every leaf or petal.
And i shred every
leaf
petal
stem.
You ask me why,
i say because I'm leaving a trail so i never get hurt or lost
again.

I lay every single day,
every single day,
in the grass,
on the street.
You ask me why,
I say because I'm waiting for the car to come and let me sleep,
finally.

I climb up every hill,
to every rock,
to every out-cropping ledge.
You ask me why,
I say because one day i will fall and that will be the end,
long awaited.

One day i looked at the clouds,
i say do you see a heart in the sky,
you say i always see,
draw,
imagine,
a broken heart.
You look at the cloud and whisper,
i did it again.

One day i looked at the moon,
i asked you,
is it a full moon.
You say no,
it almost full,
i say it seems so,
i guess.
You whisper,
i always see the broken,
lost,
missing pieces.

One day i walked down every street,
with you.
I laid down in the middle of the road,
with you.
I climbed to every rocky out-cropping,
with you.
I looked at every cloud,
with you.
I looked at the almost full moon,
with you.
When you left you said I always seem depressed,
alone,
lost,
heart broken.
And you walked away.

Sitting alone,
lost,
a single tear fell,
because you left.

I screamed wait,
you looked back.
I said bye.
You turned and left.

I sat alone and lost.
I whispered what i always wanted to say to you.
I wasn't noticeing the moon wasn't full,
i was wishing it was.
I saw the heart in the clouds that wasn't broken,
I saw the one next to it that was whole.
I climb to every ledge, every out cropping, not suicidally,
but because it's fun and i want to impress you.
I lay in the road not to be run over,
but to be warm,
because i wish i was in your arms.
And I shred every leaf,
every petal,
every flower,
because to myself,
i am whispering he loves me, he loves me not.
and its always he loves me not,
and i pick another to try to change fate.

The End

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