Hate LiquorMature

I don’t recognize myself anymore.
I haven’t been the same since then.
Come to think of it, was I ever before?
I’m not sure I could exactly say when.

Something stirred in this life of mine,
A melted lie, poured and cooling true.
Always I insisted there was more time,
Always more of it; always more to do.

Why didn’t he love his eldest son?
Why didn’t he try to make things right?
Hate is liquor. Drinks for everyone!
And they’re all on me tonight.

She gave up. And I watched her fall.
She became content with weeping “Almost”.
I was just a boy when I observed it all.
Now a man raises the glass to toast.

Here’s to all that’s wrong with me.
Here’s to the drinks I’ve killed myself with.
Here’s to the answers’ simplicity,
Here’s to the poor boy’s hopeful myth. 

I hoped things would get better.
I hoped that he’d put his fist down.
I hoped that ringing wasn’t a debtor.
I hoped to never again see her frown.

Smile, please, for the sake of me.
Mother, please, don’t succumb to woe.
Father, please, stop haunting me.
Leave, please, just fucking go.

I don’t recognize myself anymore. 
The boy who hoped faded away.
All that’s left, and nothing more.
Is the man who raises his glass today.

Not all is lost, don’t misunderstand.
Love still can save this hate-drunk man.

The End

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