i am alys hatton
the gun’s too close to me
i can hear it, and it’s deafening.

BANG

what deadly punctuation is this?
wrapped up. too wrapped up -
i have to see the -
the others. are they there?
who was shot?
not her, please not her

she wouldn’t shoot herself.
i whisper this under my breath
she wouldn’t, she never would,
she wouldn’t dare,
and if i say it enough times
then it has
to be true
right?

angry. it’s been too long since i last
knew how
to feel anything except this burning
pain, since i last knew
how to think
before this cancer pressed down on my brain
and made me like this.
a child.

a blind child. i can’t see.
if before the world was a painting
then now it is a symphony
and i can’t hear the instrument i’m waiting for.
her voice. her voice is that melody
all by
itself.

i am desperate to stay awake
i will not close my eyes
not now
i promised
i have to know.
i will hold on to myself.

i am alys hatton.
i will remember.
i am alys hatton.
alys.
i am alys.
i am.

i.

BANG

what deadly punctuation is this?

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Author guidance for This poem

We were given a prompt at Creative Writing Club to freewrite for 5 minutes on "The moment the gun went off", and then to turn it into a poem.

I ended up with a 'deleted scene' from my book, Destroying.

And then I ended up with a poem of a deleted scene. Well, more a stream of consciousness really, given that Alys is, you know, DYING.

Anyhoo.

Poem.

updated Nov 16 '11 by delorfinde