The guilt that kills me
Lurking around again,
I wish I could piss you off but I’m the victim.
I want to hide but there’s no way, for the route is in the crevices of my mind.
A melody that isn’t welcome;
A blueprint of the creature I was and a portrait of an old self. This was what spiked your birth.
Once a song I couldn’t resist, and all the lyrics written by the passion in me.
Reminiscing about the circles of Dante, I realize the torment of the second is just a taste of what u make me feel.
You hold the key to my emotional grid and I’m as powerless as a man driven by LUST.
I can see it in your eyes,
The anger, the wickedness, the revenge that wants every part of me destroyed.
I feel your presence…. And I can smell the rage too.
Your tools are scary because I can’t see them. I can only imagine how they look like.
The fangs of your imagination is practically revealing……and the terror makes my sleep a tyrant.
My eyes are scared to close lest they face your wrath.
My body is broken.
Why can’t you leave me alone?
What gratification do you seek from the fragments you want to make of me?
Is karma your your master?
I CURSE the day I sowed your seed. I blame myself.
I’m nothing anymore yet you seek my fall.
It seems mercy has no surname in your world.
How much can I pay to be free?
Did you say nothing? I CURSE you.
I hear the echoes of my pain, Dinging donging in the tunnel of my empty rebellious head.
This was not the deal.
I watered you with my selfishness, I just wasn’t sure you had the tenacity to make me into straw. Now the wind mocks me at will and so I CURSE you again ...and again.
This was my own creation and I deserve it.
It’s the guilt that won’t leave me alone.