grin

every morning, I would get up,

and click my way on to the computer,

where a message titled in exclamation points

would be waiting.

You would always write <grin>, never the colon and right parenthesis 

that constitutes a smile.

And it was true, you did grin,

as large as the cheshire cat.

If ever you were to disappear, I could find you

by the light from the whites of your teeth.


every Friday, we'd order a pizza and get drunk.

Dizzy and covered in cheese,

we'd laugh about our boyfriend woes,

and compare kissing skills.

Once, you kissed me, just to see what it would feel like,

and I was submerged in a sea of rose petals,

as the warmth from you grin rose inside of me.

You were my best friend, 

my right hand,

my sense of direction,

when I was afraid, you were my protection

a velvet cloak of love,

I pulled you close, surrounded myself with your touch.

When I tripped, you carried me,

and so my legs forgot to walk.

I never thought our knotted hearts

could ever be apart.


I remember huddling with you back-stage,

terrified to step out and dance,

though we had rehearsed the steps a thousand times.

I was sad because my guy had promised he'd be here

and yet had chosen the bar scene over my pointed feet.

You grinned at me, and said "I wish I could inject

a liquid shot of your boyfriend into you arm,

but I can give you a hug instead."


but then, the same grinning girl

that gave me a reason to get up every day

plastered her grin all over my boyfriend's face,

stole his heart and ran,

forgetting she still had my heart too.

The only loves of my life

vaporized before my eyes

and I was left behind.


tonight, I am alone in the universe.

The stars and satellites blink sympathetic rain

upon me,

huddled against the wall,

watching the shadows pass,

hoping to catch a gaze, a stare,

is there anybody out there?

Is there anybody at all.


sometimes, I think the crescent moon

looks like your <grin>

but then I remember how even the moon

can disappear.


The End

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