Need to build an army? Then let me recommend,

For your first squad of soliders, the humble gardener’s friend,

Yes, I speak of the earth worm, why do you look perplexed?

Have you ever encountered a worm when it is vexed?

After centuries of air strikes by sparrow, thrush and crow,

They’ve got heavy artilery to bring enemies down low,

And then when the ground is levelled, the worm smiles as if to say,

‘Uh oh’, and tosses a banana bomb, one of their five a day!

Nor are worms limited to mere ground troops, no!

Just give a worm a rope and watch that wingless wriggle go!

Or better yet, a jet pack, watch them soar and swoop,

To drop dynamite on hapless foes who didn’t fly the coop.

But the bestest weapon in all the wormy’s gear,

Is the amazing super sheep! Radio controlled! (And dear)

Just point that brainless herbivore where it ought to fly,

And when your enemies hear ‘baa’ they’ll also hear, ‘bye bye!’

And if you are outnumbered and even your wormies fall,

Why be a decent loser? Why not be losers all?

So when the smug solider approaches from the opposing army,

Your worm will wink, stick out its tongue and saluting, kamikazie!

So if you’re getting tired of garden variety troops,

Hire up some wormies for explosions, sheep and whoops!

You won’t be disappointed, you might be blown away!

So put up your recruitment signs for wormy fun today!

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Ode, dedicated to, and wholehearted blamed on my bearded lady who gave me a prompt...any guesses?

updated Sep 2 '08 by poetryfiend