Plastic Smiles

I walk the morning with my eyes to my feet.

For the world to speed by me as I am alone.

My heart lays raw like bloody meat.

To hide the voices who scream & moan.


This fake happiness that surrounds myself.

All the people who gather for me.

So lost that no one could even find oneself.

My conscience screaming like a banshee.


I sit all day in silence and pray.

To see tomorrow and keep hope.

I try just to live one more day.

All I wish is that I could bring myself to cope.


I sit motionless as my muscles go numb.

Staring at my scars upon my arms.

My heart beats fast like a bass drum.

I thought my demons were gone but they just appear with brand new charms.


Help is what I need.

My mind shrinks as all thoughts leave.

My pain is growing like a newly planted seed.

The secrets that hide beneath my sleeve.


My head lays like a blank.

The stress seems to seep deeper into my soul.

Just to fix my problems with all I’ve drank.

Hoping something will fill this hole.


My eyes they roll and the world around me turns.

The nightmare I see has become my life.

It nips at my self-esteem like burns.

Pain is coming, straight to my heart like a knife.


My sleepless dream is waken by others.

They scream for me but all they find is him.

My two sides, like twin brothers.

Yes, when I look at it I feel insane.


This darkness engulfs my core.

All things important seem to fall away.

As my secrets are pulled open like a drawer.

The things I’ve done, but what can I say?


I feel lost but to me its normal.

Being confused became a natural feeling.

To me I forget what actually is abnormal.

I wish I could just start the healing.


I wonder if its normal to cry.

Endlessly walking this path alone.

I’m starting to notice how hard it is to say good-bye.

But these scars are scratching deep down to bone.


I turn the music a lil’ louder and try to deafen out the pleas.

To just forget about everything, for even a second.

To loosen the grip my demons have and their tight squeeze.

Sources of torture seem to just be beckoned.


I stare up at the shadows above me, far away.

The glistening sprinkles of hope within them.

For a moment, I feel like things might be okay.

But I don’t think I will ever change from who I am.


This darkness within myself, has became attached.

The horror I found was something of my creation.

Lies & smiles seemed to become matched.

But this thing inside me seems not to want salvation.


Worry held deep inside pulls out.

The smile on my face perks up, even though its fake.

Never to know why I was filled with doubt.

This nightmare has made me realize I’m awake.


The demons I fear were the ones I adored.

Pain I felt was the happiness I lost.

Scars upon my skin suddenly restored.

I am slowly dieing, freezing like a blanket of frost.


I wave good-bye to enter this hell.

To leave all pain behind and enter to worse.

My secrets revealed now for all to tell.

I know it will never leave, for it has became my curse.

To know now that the smile smeared upon my face is fake.

It is all just my horrible illusion.

My plastic smiles were all just a mistake.

To die here inside, sorry, this is my conclusion.










The End

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