I try to compromiseMature

I try to compromise

I thought over my real life,

My singlehood,

And the reasons behind it,

First I had been,

In unrequited love,

Then I had discovered,

India was homophobic.

 

Then I had had,

Fleeting crushes,

And putting aside AL,

Failed internet relationships,

None of which,

Were instigated by me.

 

Of course singlehood,

Was by far the best solution,

I wouldn't have to,

Drag a girlfriend home,

And introduce her to,

My mom, aunt or grandmother,

Or work out how to,

Explain a same sex romance,

To my dad and stepfamily.

 

I would not need to worry,

About concealing a relationship,

From any Indian visitors,

Who happened to come to England,

And there were many advantages,

To singlehood,

The freedom, the independence.

 

I didn't believe I was aromantic,

Regardless of my choice to stay single,

For I did often feel,

A romantic pull towards women.

 

Over the years,

I had often asked myself,

If I needed a lover,

Wasn't my dad and stepfamily,

Enough for me?

Am I so greedy, so selfish,

That I would ask for more?

 

Besides I had my AL romances,

That would sustain me,

Yet more recently,

Vanessa had fallen ill in RL,

And could not come online,

Until she had recovered,

She said as much in her IM.

 

I fell to thinking,

I had never in RL,

Given anyone anything,

I hadn't had the chance,

Though in AL I had,

Given Anna red roses twice,

And Vanessa, once.

 

Opening up,

My favourite shopping website,

I typed into the search box,

Sister jewellery,

Immediately a variety,

Of necklaces and bracelets,

Appeared on the screen.

 

I wrote to my stepsister,

Asking for her address,

Which she gave me.

I chose a chain with a heart,

On which was inscribed,

Sisters share our laughter,

And dry our tears.

 

This I ordered,

And then sent her,

And she loved it,

For it was very pretty.

My brother in law,

Took photos of it,

Which my stepsister e-mailed me.

I was so glad,

That she liked it.

 

More recently,

I bought my stepcousin,

As an early birthday present,

A lovely bracelet.

First My Cousin,

Forever My Friend,

Was inscribed inside.

 

I posted it to dad,

And though I had asked,

It be given her,

On her birthday,

Dad gave it to her at once,

And she loved it.

My heart soared,

With gladness and gratitude.

The End

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