I grow close to my Great Grandmother
Often feeling out of place,
In the family get together,
Unable to relax,
Around my aunt and grandmother,
I naturally sought out,
My great grandmother.
She would in her room sit,
Or else in the conservatory,
Beside her did I often sit,
Sometimes holding her hand.
She was far gentler,
Than my aunt or grandmother,
In many ways I must admit,
Some things my great grandmother said,
They were the kind of things,
My dad or stepmother would have said.
This naturally increased,
My respect for her,
And we formed this close friendship,
Treasured by me,
Yet a cause of irritation,
To my aunt and grandmother.
I recall a time,
An argument my mom and aunt had,
And my great grandmother,
She came to me in tears,
I gave her a shoulder to cry on,
And she to me whispered,
"I know you'd rather be with your dad".
Impressed by her perceptiveness,
And lack of judgement,
Yet feeling a little guilty,
As I did prefer my dad and stepfamily,
I made no reply,
Other than to offer her a banana.
My great grandnother being elderly,
Often expressed her wish to die,
Recieved with scorn and cynicism,
By my aunt, my gran, even my mom.
Yet remembering there was a time,
When I contemplated suicide,
And that sometimes did,
This dormant desire to die,
In me still linger,
And generally sensitive to her needs,
I told her with sincerity,
That I understood, that I believed her.