Out of ControlMature

Out of Control

To my regret,

My anger problem,

It continued to escalate.

 

Continually irritated at mom,

I now realise it was due in part,

To crushing my strong feelings,

For my stepfamily.

 

Of course, mom would interpret,

My irritation as rudeness,

I would expect nothing else,

Though I was never purposely rude.

 

Questioning my core beliefs,

Such as life after death,

In my Religious Studies A level,

I found most difficult.

 

It proved my point,

You can't be what you are not,

You can't deny your identity,

You must be true to yourself,

And ideally not live a lie.

 

I did not allow mom,

To write to my dad,

When small arguments,

They went out of control.

 

I did become violent I admit,

Though I never meant to,

I had litttle control over my voice,

When angry or excited.

 

I never quite,

Went beyond slaps.

Though I admit,

Once at the window,

Did I throw my hairbrush,

Luckily the glass held.

 

I genuinely apologised,

After such things happened,

Yet this did not prevent,

It repeating itself.