My GCSEsMature


Naturallly all this apathy,

All this lack of energy,

It messed up my GCSE revison,

Until a few weeks prior to the exams,

My mom, she forcefully coached me.


Even in those two years,

It wasn't all dejection and depression,

As usual I enjoyed my time with dad,

Listening to songs in the car,

Watching films, eating pizza.


Yet these two years I had lost,

My energy, my thirst for life,

And enjoyable times,

They were merely distractions,

From my continued dejection and melancoly,

That persisted beneath.


Two years previously,

A deal had dad and I made,

After dad married Aunt Premala,

My dad did ask me,

If dad could to India, return permanently.


I agreed but only when I said so,

Dad had asked when I was sixteen,

And to this had I agreed,

Dad's place is with Aunt Premala and Semanti.


Despite the dejection caused me,

By India lying about same sex love,

I wished my dad to return to India,

Happy and content,

Knowing I could cope,

So I concealed as best as I could,

My depression and self destruction.


After I had written my exams,

I helped my dad move out,

From the place dad had rented.

On the last day,

Did I hug dad goodbye,

Promising to e-mail and chat.


My mom was thrown,

That I was so unaffected by dad leaving,

But I love Aunt Premala and Semanti,

And I know dad belongs with them,

I guess I do envy dad that,

For whatever mom says,

I love my stepfamily as much as dad does.

The End

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