My life is a broken empty shell
Where a personality if given time and friendship could grow
But I’m not living yet
I’m only experiencing life through your eyes, and playing it back.
And yet I get people all the time asking me about my life
I stop, stare and wonder why and if I should lie
Because the lie is more real to them then the truth
“Yeah I saw all these homeless people and felt horrible for their situations.”
Deep down all I did today was loathe myself in my mental basement
Or as you would call it my room
All these people assume I’m just full of drama
You would too if you never knew how to tie your shoes
Looking at your best friend, age 22
“Hey do you mind, I have no idea”
And she looks up at me and says with what I perceive as glee
“You do the loopty loop.” and I’m thinking “Shut the fuck up! That’s what I tried to do!”
My hands are like crippled surgeons doing brain surgery
It takes an hour for me to prepare a sandwich side and drink
And then I stare and think “I forgot the napkin, shit!”
My parents take five minutes to make food, they get.
As long as we’re here, let’s see what is revealed
My mother says my dad and I need a shrink
Not for me at least I don’t think.
We don’t talk for days and days and my anger extends to rage
Even though I’m excited to finally engage in any of five million ways
I look at him he talks about coffee as if I drink Folgers
Except this isn’t the best part of waking up
Nope it’s bullshit in a cup!
I always end up screaming “I’ve had enough
Aw jeeze is this how bad my life be?
That we don’t see eye to eye and it’s so bad
We are forced to talk COFFEE to have some sort of topic that doesn’t involve logic
Any other and you might think we were setting up a mob hit!
I’m lucky though that my parents aren’t like John and Lorena Bobbit
Cus see, she lost it, castrating him and ran off before he saw
Luckily the jury never bought it.
Is that what I say to my father
“Gee Dad I’m happy you’re not penis-less
You can still create tons of little geniuses!”
So I stay silent and they call me heartless
All because I’m rather thoughtless.
Thank you for reading
I hope this doesn’t sound deceiving
But you are the reason I keep writing through this bitter season
Without you I don’t know what I’d do
If there’s any solace to writing,
It’s knowing someone’s soul felt like a broken shell too.