It.Mature

The most deep and profound personal poems I've ever done will go here. I do not, as a rule, write when I'm seething mad, but I couldn't help it.

Misery moves amongst me like watercolors of molecular DNA

I see the pain of a friend lying bare on white sheets bled black

The hideous heretic loving heart I’ve fallen for

Has bled out, dried out and left Lady Pain to adore me

 

I hate everyone around me

Because I have to hide the thing I feel I must be

I have to hide every negativity, and smile and pray religiously

Because if I don’t, I’m as good as dead to my friends

Yet I’m alive for the pathetic journey

 

And Misery moves amongst me

 

I’m in a program of study where I can’t even be in spirit with a buddy

I’m it

 

It lies there in its bed, dreaming of things it wants, it needs and it begs to have

It sits there, listening to its lingering friends talk about politics,  and cultish religion

“Join us”, its friends say

Join

Join

Join

 

No! I am not it!

I am an angry believer!

I scream at every hardship for God to fuck off!

“Why the FUCK was I born, if my life was going to be trapped within four walls that I can’t escape!”

I feel just like the father I deep down don’t know!

 

I pause, closing my eyes

 My true Father is here.

He’s there, where the muse isn’t, guiding me to write His lines

Because with this poem, I might just save a life

I’ve realized that blood means nothing to the Man Up High

That my emotions, are His as well as mine

 

We hide our minds in little cocoons of what we think He is

Design universes around those cocoons

And then ask Him, why we can’t escape.

 

And then the bough breaks

The End

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