There's this silly little game we play,
when I look at you, you look away,
long enough for me to drop my gaze,
you wait until I turn my head
to turn yours in my direction.
If I'm quick enough to glance back,
catching you in the act,
you roll your eyes in a vacant stare,
as if I'm just another part of the room
your vision is passing through.
It was only a month ago we could communicate
paragraphs without having to say
We completed each other's sentences
instead of speaking in sentence fragments
like we do today.
We've known each other as long as
we've known our own names,
it seems such a shame
that things have gone this way.
I picked you to take with me on an adventure over seas
because you were the one I trusted to be
honest, and true, and love the journey
as much as I loved you.
I didn't know someone I cared about so much
was capable of ripping my soul to shreds,
treading on my dreams,
making me feel like I was a failure at being anything.
But in the end, I miss you.
I miss listening to you breathe at night,
after you finished berating my personality,
you'd sleep and I'd lie awake
going over the words you'd say.
Now, one month later,
still ringing harsh in my ears:
"You're selfish, you're stupid
you don't deserve to be here."
Now, playing the game of looking up
and looking away,
I don't know what hurts me more:
the fact that you hate me,
or that I don't love you