Its simple. Feeling like a fly in a jar. That's what I'm trying to purvey. Also how a relationship can feel that way.
I grow mellower, softer, brighter, with every revelation. Letting it roll off my back and encircle me. The air of space I had to breathe has filled. I'm stuck, solidifying in time becoming a fossil. I'm losing my feelings losing touch and letting her sculpt me and preserve me for special showing in an orange block. Always under her control. "You're mine but I can't be with you" "I'm losing my mind stay but don't help" "I didn't promise anything. So I'm with someone else?". And it all continues with me continuing " its alright I support your decision" while "I'm sorry" ing every miniscule detail of my lapses. "I'm sorry I got mad you Bailed on our date". "I'm sorry I yelled at you for going out with him. Its your choice". Further encasing into your sap, I feel more and more like an object. Not an object of your affection.