f*ck your tropes f*ck your whines f*ck your homophobiaMature

trigger warning for lesbian slurs - people are as-sholes and this poem is about them, sry
//long poem

read the youtube comments on 
music videos featuring lesbian couples. 

lesbian couples, 
not girls touching each other
for men's enjoyment 
not sensationalized, sexualized female "action"

read the youtube comments on 
music videos featuring lesbian couples

and feel like you're no longer a human being, 
like you are nothing, 
and the singer who just wanted to show a relationship, 
well her efforts are all in vain

and i hate the way i swallow the words
how they sit deep in my gut
and weigh me down while i try to tell myself it doesn't matter

doesn't matter that they never even say lesbian 
that they say "lez" or "lesbo" 
doesn't matter the slurs they spit 

that sink into my skin 
and curl, acidic and burning, 
into my very pores

yeah, yeah, 
i'm gay as all hell 

no, no, 
i don't identify as female

don't ask me how these things work
i barely know anything at all 
this is just something i've had to roll with 
and you're going to have to too

and i hate this, 
tell myself again and again
ignore it, ignore it, it doesn't matter 

just like teachers tell you 
as a little girl 
when the boy in the back row punches you 

"he just likes you"
"don't you know what that means?"
"oh, you deny it now"
"ignore it and it'll go away"
"he's just doing that to get a rise out of you"

and that, 
right there, 
is how you begin to romanticize abuse 
at an early age

take notes and 
make sure to tell your teacher
they're a fucking idiot

and that they only thing they're teaching
is misogyny and stupidity 
western culture at its finest 

and please
expand on how you, 
anonymous face of the youtube comment section 
complain and say, "why does every vid have to be lez"

because of course we're not people, 
the mere thought is shocking 

because we are mis-represented, under-representED,
KILLED OFF IN TV SHOWS 
"BURY YOUR GAYS" SOUND FAMILIAR, ANYONE?

shut your fucking mouth and let the big kids talk, honey. 

no video is lesbian, 
not in this century on this earth 
this is a lovely rare occurrence 

and i wanted to savour it, 
roll it in my mouth until the world didn't taste so sour anymore 
and purse my lips like lemon juice

because someone else says, 
yet again, in the tone of voice that even translates over text, 
that they're not bi/lesbian 
but they'd kiss her 

and hey, did anyone tell you
that you don't have to reassert your sexuality at every turn? 
mostly because, you know, it ISN'T SOMETHING SHAMEFUL?

and they say, 
it's okay it's lesbian because the music is okay, 
as if it's some transgression against it 
and it's only justified by the actual song

and i am tired of the way that 
some guy says, 
"i don't care if she's a lesbo
i wanna get with her until she screams my name"

because you're fucking disgusting
and i hope tonight when you get home 
your mother calls and says, 
"honey dearest
we've decided to cut you out of the will."

"by the way, your roof also now has a massive hole
and there's permanent ketchup stains on your favorite shirt"

i feel dirty just writing this poem 
because i'm sick and tired 
and i want the world to stop being so repulsive
and i want the world to not contain people like this anymore

there are good people
it's just that i can't scrub the stained words
of those whose intentions are not pure
off the backs of my teeth

and every time 
i go to speak 
i can feel them scratching at my throat. 

read the youtube comments on 
music videos featuring lesbian couples

and feel like these days nobody wants to love you
and you can't even love yourself

and if people are so determined to hate you 
might as well let them do your job for you

but i just want to ask, 
what's wrong with loving girls?

The End

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