Now Harry Potter I've read and loved,

  so J.K. Rowling's a fave,

And when I discovered Roald Dahl last year,

  All else had been put in the shade,

But when a friend recommended these books,

  The Twilight Saga, to me,

I found myself disliking Stephanie Meyer

  to a rather insane degree.

Now I'll give you a reason why: these books

  are a bad influence on my daughter.

Bella's not brave and she has little sense

  like you'd think a heroine oughta.

As as for that Edward, I cannot abide

  such romantically soppy ideals,

'I must eat this girl, but I love her too much'

  This storyline doesn't appeal.

I read the whole series and gave them a go,

  but my interest hasn't been grabbed.

Anne Rice I can stomach, and Bram Stoker too,

  but these vamps I just want to stab.

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