Walking down the street
Hand in hand
We look at each other and smile
He points across the street
To where we first met
And we are flooded with memories
Everything is the same
The same dull posters
The same dull walls
The same dull carpeting
The same dull lighting
Yet in both of our hearts, it is the most wonderful place in the world
But as I turn to look at his smiling face and sparkling eyes, I realize he isn’t the same
Lips curled down at the edges, almost snarling with rage
And as I stare in disbelief he rips his hand away from mine and races out the door and back the way we came
The tears roll silently down my face as I leave this cozy sanctum
Confusion and anger coursing through my veins
I look everywhere
But I cannot find him
So I head home
Discouraged and hurt
Wanting to see him but worried that he’s upset with me for something
Mom answers the door with
Tears streaming down her face
She tells me there has been an accident,
And I welcome the blackness that envelopes my head.
When I wake I am not sure where I am
But the white walls and metal bed alert me to the fact that I am defiantly not at home
And, uncaringly, I flinch away from the protective embrace of the medication they feed me.
I prefer the pain of my sorrows, bearing down on me and the cold apathy of myself.
What have I done that is so unforgivable that he would do a thing like this?
What type of feelings would I have needed to instil him that would have driven him to tie that rope around his neck
and fall from the chair
Fall into the dark abyss of silent solitude
So as I head home I deliver myself from evil.
Take out the pill bottle
Pour a dozen into my palm and fall into the welcome abyss of silent solitude.
I fall into myself for the last time.