Damsel in Distress

There are classics that have aced time's test.
Adored by millions who know them the best.
I want to revive them, cast in a new light;
Using my skills as a poet to write.
But these won't be the stories you've probably read.
Maybe at nighttime before going to bed.
No, they've been reborn, bordering absurd.
They're nothing like anything you've ever heard.
So sit back, relax, and listen to my,
Fairy tales, gone awry.

I’m sure that you all must confess,

That you've heard the story of the damsel in distress.

With the knight and the dragon and the rest of that mess,

But how did it happen? Well, this is my guess…

 

The damsel in question was tired of the wait.

Day after day she prayed, hoping that fate,

Would finally send her destined soul mate,

In her mind, a brave champion, noble and great.

 

Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore.

She wanted to see what love had in store,

And she knew she had to find out before,

She went crazy; the need was just too much to ignore.

 

So she went to her parents, her smile disarming,

Fully intent to find her Prince Charming, asked,

“Dearest mother and father,

I don’t mean to be a bother,

But can you grant the chance to go out to me?”

 Sweetly and innocently she kept up her plea.

Until at last they agreed to let her go free.

“Of course, our child, you can run along.”

All three of them thinking, what could possibly go wrong?

 

And so, with their permission the damsel departed,

Delighted her quest had finally started.

She was pondering what to do when out of the blue,

A huge winged beast flew and let me tell you;

It was way bigger than a semi-truck too.

Before she even had a clue, it dived down and struck true;

Snatching the damsel up in two scaly claws that gripped like glue.

 

Clutching his prize, the beast rose up in the air,

And carried the damsel to his mountain cave lair.

Terrified, the damsel thought that she was his next meal.

But however, to the beast she had a different appeal.

 

For this dragon, as by now you probably could tell,

Knew that this girl judging by the smell,

Of her exotic perfume, her family would have great wealth,

Which they would gladly give him in exchange for her health.

 

So he crudely wrote out a ransom note,

Demanding a ton of treasure be loaded on a boat,

Then sent down the river, or else he'd torch the girl.

Then he dropped the note off and let the chaos unfurl.

 

The damsel’s frantic father was forced to comply,

Filling a ship with gold and jewels piled high.

He watched helplessly as the dragon flew by,

And snatching the ship and taking to the sky.

 

While the dragon was busy rolling in his gold,

The distressed damsel looked out and low and behold!

A brave knight on his steed was riding so bold,

Swiftly approaching the dragon’s stronghold.

 

The knight had seen the dragon flying with his horde,

And so with a coat of shining armor, trusty shield and gleaming sword,

Planned to slay the drake,

And afterwards take,

The treasure & make-,

Out with the beautiful captive.

With one look at the knight, the damsel was sure,

Her deliverance from the dragon was definitely secure.

When he reached the top, the knight drew his blade.

And the dragon turned sharply at the zing that was made.

 

 He leapt off his horde with a snarl, as if to say,

“Just what I wanted to eat; a knight flambeaux!”

Knight and dragon collided, and a death match ensued;

Either the beast would be slain, or the warrior barbecued.

 

The rest is history and of course you’ve all heard,

Who still stood in the end, and who'd been murdered.

The dragon is slain, and the knight still remains.

He carried the damsel away and married her the next day.

 

“And they lived happily ever after,” so fairytales often close,

But is this really what happened? Hey; who knows?

The End

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