Sometimes breathing
and seeing
used to leave me
feeling exhausted
I didn't like it much
I mean
Who likes
breathing in
the same words everyday
people are cruel
that's all
they ever say
it'll go a better way
but it didn't
seeing those years
crawl by
couldn't let go of me
when all I wanted was out
no one could hear me shout
so I gave up
all they said
was that's what
would kill you
I didn't want to listen
I didn't want
to breathe
or think
or see
every day
didn't want to hear
"hey it'll be okay"
when it wasn't
how could I believe
a word they said
when all I knew
was lies shoved down
my throat
gotta climb out
that's what they say
but they were wrong
I was still lost
living was sickening
the only escape was sleep
during the day
my cracked chest
could barely hold
my breath
my shattered head
couldn't bear my thoughts
my nightmare ridden eyes
never wanted to see
on and on
every day
always the same
who wants to see
a person so obviously
fucked up
every scar up and down
my body
how could you
they were
one of the ugliest parts
I could show
and you loved every demon of mine
like you could make em dance
they danced across my skin
but it never changed
you were shoving the breath
into my lungs
this world
I swear it wasn't meant for me
a monster waiting to be born
despite every breath
swearing to be my last
every thought a new scar
I couldn't let that happen
they were drawing butterflies
on my wrists
trying to feed me
but it tasted like poison
I didn't want it in my veins
they still wouldn't listen
wouldn't lemme talk
what was the point anyway
every breath like a hurricane
all my thoughts felt like migraines
I could never sleep long enough
I was tired
they could never see
they didn't care either
the chains they wrapped around me
like they thought it was funny
the way I'd suffer
and a year came
so pensive was I
those days could kill me
and some almost did
but I'm still here
thankful those breaths
weren't my last
not gonna bleed for them anymore
those thoughts aren't gonna take me away again
and I swear up and down
I'm not that way
I'm not the same
still breathing
still thinking
just not tired anymore

The End

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