At first you and I were a dream come true,
I went from being on my own, to being me and you.
I thought you were great, despite what people said,
Whenever I wasn't with you, it'd weigh me down like lead.
But then you turn around with those weird crossed eyes,
You look in my direction and spew utter, utter lies.
You made me do things I didn't want to do,
I still have nightmares all about you!
You have a big head, an arrogant streak,
then you go and pretend to be all meek.
YOu're actually a pillock, and you smell bad too,
You think you're a ladies man, that's a loada bull-poo!
Just because you're a life guard at Alton Towers,
Doesn't mean you're excused from having the odd shower.
DOesn't mean you're excused for everything wrong,
Doesn't mean you're excused if you can't sing a song.
You walk around oblivious to everyone's hate,
They call you stupid names and you say "Hi, y'alright mate?"
MATE? MATE? Are you really, really silly?
I've always thought I should have stayed with Billy.
I still see you at night-times hitting the town,
You look at my mum's car with that stupid frown.
You're so full of yourself, but you actually have a small brain!
I can't believe I loved you! I'll never hate anyone the same.