Plunge a knife into your chest,
Make sure you wear no bullet proof vest,
Grab that cheese grater and apply to your face,
a fork to the eyeball is the obvious place,
There's a blender, give it a hand,
Then drink the mush and if it tastes bland,
Add a kilo of salt and chug away,
I can assure you that you won't last the day.
Turn on the oven and stick in your head,,
If it is gas, you will find yourself dead.
But if it's electric, then have no despair,
The heat will melt your skin and set fire to your hair.
So the kitchen is a great place to be,
If you're looking to end your misery.
With a dash of commitment and a sprinkle of knife,
This is the best place to end your life.