Domestic Departures


Drink a glass of Toilet Duck

mixed with vodka - try your luck.


Walk downstairs while wearing skis.

Eat cornflakes with anti-freeze.


Try tap-dancing on your roof.

Self-extract a wisdom tooth.


Turn the gas on, walk the mutt,

Then come home and light a butt.


Put a wasps' nest in your bed

as a pillow for your head.


Take some chicken, cooked and cold

Eat it when it's three weeks old.


Next time you blow-dry your hair -

Take and bath and dry it there.

The End

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