Drink a glass of Toilet Duck
mixed with vodka - try your luck.
Walk downstairs while wearing skis.
Eat cornflakes with anti-freeze.
Try tap-dancing on your roof.
Self-extract a wisdom tooth.
Turn the gas on, walk the mutt,
Then come home and light a butt.
Put a wasps' nest in your bed
as a pillow for your head.
Take some chicken, cooked and cold
Eat it when it's three weeks old.
Next time you blow-dry your hair -
Take and bath and dry it there.