Ways to Invite a Bestial Demise

If you’ve had enough, then for a lark

Play water polo on a shark.

Pick a fight with an alpha baboon,

You’ll be the loser pretty soon.

Put a live tarantula in your mouth

And your survival prospects go well south.

Take a dump in a Rhino’s mud,

He’ll spear your butt and spill your blood.

Practise dentistry on a crocodile,

And become the meat stuck in his smile.

Grab the spiky bit of a scorpion’s tail,

You’ll quickly turn deathly pale.

Take a gator’s eggs to boil,

She’ll push you off this mortal coil.

Arm-wrestle a Boa constrictor,

I guarantee he’ll be the victor.

Engage in relations with a sperm-whale calf,

He might like it but you’ll be split in half.

Animals have many ways,

Of being the end of human days,

If you want to die you should, at least

Consider the option of a beast.

The End

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