Eight Million Ways to Die

Get the scissors and run down the hall,
Catch your feet and take a fall.

Dash across the traffic lanes;
a speeding truck may spill your brains.

Swallow food before you chew,
clog your windpipe, and turn dark blue. 

Take a cruise, fall off the ship.
Get mauled by a bear on a camping trip.

Be chewed up by some large machine,
Break your leg and catch gangrene. 

Take a swim, drown in the lake,
walk in woods, get bit by snakes.

Smoke til cancer fills your lungs,
Be careless while cleaning your guns,

Speed through traffic, cause a wreck,
dive in a pool and snap your neck,

Slip in the shower and smash your head,
These are just a few ways to wind up dead.

The End

64 comments about this poem Feed