Eggshell

Behind closed lids, It takes a few shots, attempts 

To find that smile in the dark

Then a few more moments to piece together a face to fit

animated shards of eggshell, laugh against echoes in a skull

*

It doesn't feel pretend yet

*

I gain two pale dull eyes, a ribcage of calcium bones to hold to me

Two large hands climb into my mouth, up into my head

dancing, prodding fingers just above my throat, choking reflex 

*

It grows real, It becomes just like life 

*

Tapping against the inside of my skin, bubbling over 

beating me like an african drum, beat, beat, beat 

The longer I think, the more I can see, every perfect flaw 

I see angry and happy, and I love them both

*

I love you both 

*

Acid pulses beneath the surface for you 

Every time I close, to cover empty sockets 

It takes a few more ticks, each time 

Theres panic

To assemble my counterfeit puppet

*

I lose your organs one at a time 

First I spat out your heart, My eyes flew to follow 

then I dragged out each of your teeth, my hair fell out 

So I again swallowed each tooth, but couldn't keep them down any longer 

*

And I hold your tongue between each of mine 

*

It's a reverse polaroid, It's leaving, bleeding 

dripping out, like extracting poison I need to live 

It's fingernails digging into my stomach 

Each time theres more eggshell, theres more empty, and

*

The loss will kill, the loss is against my will 

The loss is...That the loss isn't a loss....but...is a loss to the lost....

*

Only the lost. 

The End

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