Double Sided Break

The union breaks between stutters
Pink shades slither between the cracks,
as if the purity of my conscious
and the blood of my collapsing heart
have merged into a single fluid
infecting the veins of my being

I sit here at the wrong hour
with a false image of who I am
And a blurry image of who I'm becoming
with every tick that hums away
Transforming between an understanding
and complete ignorance
Yet all the while
somehow convincing myself to put another foot forward
in the hopes that I don't burn myself on the hell beneath

A mix of emotion flutters
Nostalgic of my happier times
Yet only adding emptiness to the light of the face in my mirror
I feel close to breaking the misery
yet closer to breaking myself
And since I can't make out the image staring back at me,
the only thing I'm truly afraid of is the silhouette
painted at my bedside
mocking me as I drift off into my lucidity
and then mocking me again as I drift out

I suppose the deciphering of reality is a curse
some have the luxury of being distracted from
Others wonder from time to time,
but then there are those like me who've decided
it isn't worth the headache trying to figure out what purpose
lies beyond
which makes life all the more forgettable
yet far less worth ending,
an agony that puts you in a place of neither belief nor disbelief
happiness nor sadness
desiring nor desired

The End

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