I myself as well as friends suffer with depression and various forms of social anxieties and phobias, this poem is about the darkness that people feel surrounded by as well as the loneliness when forced to confront these nightmares.
Do not lead me unto the dark,
That starless night without dawn.
Do not tell me tales of the beauty of death,
A man’s last quivering breath drawn.
Tell me not to watch as the lights leave his eyes,
A candle wick sputtering out in its own wax.
Do not ask me to ride the horse,
Black and wild, unbridled.
I will feed it not white sugar cubes
From my palm –
For it will take all that I have to give
And still it will want more,
The greedy ungrateful thing.
Do not drag me unto that windswept moor,
With its whirling winds that whisper words that only I can hear.
The utter solitude of being surrounded.
The bitter voices inside my head –
“Pathetic, Pathetic, weak”
Do not hold me at the gaping precipice
And tell me I will not fall.
I have already fallen –
My heart is in my mouth –
So far, so far.
I plummet while you assure me I am safe.
Do not drag me before the crowds,
The gaping, judging eyes,
The accusing lying tongs that tell tales when backs are turned.
What darkness do I flinch from?
I am dragged through the dirt by time,
His knurled hands cut into my skin,
I bleed out trying to cling onto the last rays of twilight.
What beastly stallion do I fear?
It is he that snatches the sweetness of hope
from my heart as I cling to it.
He who bites away my joy.
What gaping hole?
For you hear nothing of what passes in me.
You feel not the terror that dwells within a mind.
You see not the ghosts that pursue me,
Only shattered verse
And the tear stained eyes
Of a fearful heart.