Didn't Even Know

Based on something that happened a few years ago that was less than rape but more than a handshake and was definitely non-consensual.

Falling, quickly I made my way through the crowd.

Not recognising any faces, unable to form tangible sound

I choked and sobbed, dry heaving the stale, frigid air from my lungs,

Coughing up despair as I felt your gaze burn into my bare, unprotected back. 

Adding to already red tracks on snow white skin, I tore at myself, 

Desperate to remove the hot, heavy, lingering stench, 

Too tightly wrapped for me to breathe in anything but you. 

I would have sooner held my breath as you played your game of exploration.

I braced myself, the weight of your control pinning me down, 

Your buckle gouging my hips as you fumbled

and your hands gripping my head. I gave up all row, 

I murmured my final "Don't. No.", but it fell upon deaf ears

as hands fell upon dead flesh. Grabbing and pulling and stretching,

But I was no more than numb. My silence hung, rotten, in the air,

Nauseating, overwhelming. If you had felt it, you'd have let me go. 

But like me, it was so far gone, so far lost in the night,

You didn't even know. 

The End

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