the worst thing about the way I feel?
I know that it won't go away
it isn't going to fade.
It will sink into my bones
like the alcohol in my veins.
It will poison the colours around me
and kill the flowers
growing in my fingertips.

I have fallen to emotions
that are not going to let me be
they will drown me.
Just like hearing about you did.
I will drown
the same way I always do.
Sinking into the ground
waiting for you to say
"Hey, I'm here".

And the worst part about that?
I want comfort.
And what have I done?
I'm seeking comfort
from a dead person.
I have gone asking for comfort
about a dead person
from the dead person
because they are dead.
And that is so shitty,
and so stupid,
so fuck you.
I hate you for this.

The worst part of all of this?
It won't go away.
It won't fade.
It will always be there.
It will be there like roots in soil
and blood in veins.
It won't leave
it will drown me
and then all at once.
I am going to drown
because I no longer want to swim.

The End

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