Don't tell me not to sayMature

don't tell me not to say
that I wish I had killed myself years ago
i know what death looks like
i know how it feels
and i know
what it is like
to have it rip through you
as if they were your soul
and you loved them so much
but that was obviously not enough
don't tell me not to say
that i have wanted to die since I was thirteen
I know what happens
i know what the hell people will go through
and no
you're right
i don't want them to feel what i've felt every day since I lost her
but what's the god damn point
if i can just make them hate me before i go
then it won't matter
of course they'll feel pain
of course they'll hate me more
but i don't even care
and that sucks too
because how am I supposed to keep going
because I feel like it's cowardly
I can't do it
I won't do it
this and that
so congratulations, right?
Yeah, well
I wish it felt that way.

The End

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