Emotions are a finicky thing.

Some I want to block out,
or ignore, forget, dismiss,
while others I want to fully embrace
like loves’ first kiss.

But I’m stuck here in purgatory
not quite in heaven not quite in hell,
I’m half-feeling, only half alive, half a person,
to compensate I feel I must laugh, shout, yell.

It’s like the sun shining on me,
my front lights up but the rest is dark,
my face is stone, eyes onyx,
but in them is a glint, a tiny spark.

Anger, fury, hate, rage urge me on
I want to destroy, demolish, destruct,
but there’s nothing to break so I hold it in
something I’ll rue the day I erupt.

Despair desolation, depression drag me down
they make me will my heart stop beating,
but I can’t die however much I try
because to take the easy way out is cheating.

Love, joy, happiness, hope, faith are seldom felt,
with other emotions by my mind they are numbed,
to feel their full force I’d have to let the others in
an option to which I have not yet succumbed.

The End

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