Dear Troubled Soul

A letter from a young girl to her friend who is contemplating suicide.

When was the last time you smiled? Really smiled the way you used to. It'd spread across your face, stretching ear to ear. When was the last time you laughed? Really laughed, like you meant it. I could see it bubble your stomach and shoot up to your face and you'd explode in guffaws. Where is the happiness I once knew? I barely know you know. Sometimes it's hard to look into your eyes because all I see are to deep wells filled with hopelessness. I feel helpless and all I can do is hold tightly onto you, thinking it might keep what's left of you here with me. Don't leave me now.

I remember when you were little you used to put on daddy's clothes and mom would scold you. She'd say little girls should wear dresses. You'd say you were a man and she'd go and beat you, but still the smile stayed on your face. Maybe back then was the time I should have been more vigilant. It's when you were most fragile and innocent. You took me in, just a crazy good-for-nothing brat off the street and asked me to be your friend. I'll never forget that day.

When was the last time you loved, with all the passion in your heart? Did it tingle at the tips of you fingers and make you curl up your toes? When was the last time you looked in the mirror with pride, not caring what people thought, knowing the best part is on the inside? I didn't quite you quite as much or show it quite as much, but know that I love you so. I didn't hug you quite as much or kiss you quite as much, but I never want to let you go.

I can see the man that you are deep inside, so let him out and present him with pride. The world may be cruel, as it's always been, but you still have me. You still have me. I want you back, that boy I knew. We threw our cares away. We'd run forever but not from our problems. We'd hold our freedom high. And as the sun set, we'd lay together under the moonlight sky. You are my friend, perhaps a lover, but I will never know. I didn't say before so I'll tell you now, I love you. I can't bear to see you cry. It's like you're dying deep inside and the pain is killing you.  I can see it. No, it can't be true. Please go back to you. No need to hide away, and turn your world gray. I'll be by your side till the end of time. Smile darling. Come back to me.

The End

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