deicide

"the destruction or killing of a god" 

when i was little 
they bloomed inside me like wilting flowers 
broken stems seeping green-tinted liquid 
leaves withered and drooping 

the gods clinging to my bones 
arms twined around my ribcage 
reaching skinny arms up my throat 
godly fingers grasping at my teeth 
and clacking my jaws in repetitions of faith 

and when i grew up 
they drew back 
retreated farther 
and i chased them 

chased them deeper 
until i couldn't touch them 
and they feared me 
my gods
the gods living inside me 

and i destroyed them as best i could 
to this day there are stragglers subsisting in the base of my skull 
seeped into the vertebrates of my spine 
holding me up and cowering, afraid, along the sharpness of my shoulder-blades 

i killed them, 
hunted them and watched the life slip from the eyes of my gods 
killed them as a young girl turning into a teenage nothing 
my faith wavering and unsteady 

and i do not know if i am the weaker for it. 

The End

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