Written at a time when I wasn't true to myself.

Here you are

To stand and watch

Me fall apart

You don't understand

The pain you cause

You're so full of it

You say you're sorry

And of course I believed

One side of you mends me

Another rips

I've realize that conflict never quits

Am I not worth the time

Have I done something, said something wrong

I've done nothing to you

I gave all I could

I opened up from your

Sweet touch

At your gentle words

To you my soul lay bare

And all I get is a cold stare?

I forgave and forgave

Everyone thought I was a fool

Not a single person had faith in you

I kept thinking you would care

And I think you do, just not enough

You relish the thought of my pain

Now I see

My conflict is me

To leave or stay

To fight or flee

A bond

A chain that we had forged

Built on a lie

Held by steel

Aged by anger and resentment towards all

Especially me

Now it stands

A shadow of greater times

A great model built on my mind

Nothing but conflict

Nothing but anger

A lack of warmth

A lack of being

I see my place now

It is not with you

How could I have turned into someone so blind

I thank you in the end, where your binding hatred and cruelty I see

Conflict begins conflict

Once a traitor always a traitor

Of heart

Of mind

A traitor, betrayer, of me.

 © Michelle Lee Alfonso, 2011

The End

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