Here you are

To stand and watch

Me fall apart

You don't understand

The pain you cause

You're so full of it

You say you're sorry

And of course I believed

One side of you mends me

Another rips

I've realize that conflict never quits

Am I not worth the time

Have I done something, said something wrong

I've done nothing to you

I gave all I could

I opened up from your

Sweet touch

At your gentle words

To you my soul lay bare

And all I get is a cold stare?

I forgave and forgave

Everyone thought I was a fool

Not a single person had faith in you

I kept thinking you would care

And I think you do, just not enough

You relish the thought of my pain

Now I see

My conflict is me

To leave or stay

To fight or flee

A bond

A chain that we had forged

Built on a lie

Held by steel

Aged by anger and resentment towards all

Especially me

Now it stands

A shadow of greater times

A great model built on my mind

Nothing but conflict

Nothing but anger

A lack of warmth

A lack of being

I see my place now

It is not with you

How could I have turned into someone so blind

I thank you in the end, where your binding hatred and cruelty I see

Conflict begins conflict

Once a traitor always a traitor

Of heart

Of mind

A traitor, betrayer, of me.

 © Michelle Lee Alfonso, 2011

RATE THIS CHAPTER!

Author guidance for This poem