I feel

Feel the keys collapsing under the pressure of my fingers typing away the last letters I will speak to you

To you in how we were before this happened and re happened

Over and over I process it through my head

Should I have gone through with it?

It being my plan to get what was weighing me down off my shoulders

Shoulders that were collapsing as the keys do to your pressure

The pressure of your words as you o so try to let me down easily

Easily being the total opposite

 To what is actually going down

In reality I’m drowning

Drowning in my tears that are filling my room

Because I can’t comprehend this loom of problems

These problems that are going to reappear in this relationship

Problems that are going to wreck this relationship

This relationship that before my plan came into effect

Was doing fine

Fine that word that you so utterly hate

Relating to what I am trying to say

But really it doesn’t work like that

I can’t just sit here and say its fine when it’s not

This done and over because I can’t be like this forever

I can’t hold this weight alone without you by my side

Even as a friend

I just need you

In this time

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