BothMature

*%&*,man.
%!^@.

I thought you said that you've moved on?
               That’s the fifth time in five minutes that my best friend has asked this question.

           "I’m surprised that’s still going on, y’all talking and such."
            "Yea, we’re friends."
            "Oh. Really?"
And then there’s that look-
Like she’s staring right through me.
Right through the bullshit of that word, "friend".
She knows me, inside and out, and I’m betting she can read the heap of doubt
that rests on my rib-cage, weighing down my heart;
Did I make the right choice?
Should I have fought harder, tried for longer-
Could I have stayed?
Or was it too much, like I remember it being?
Or did I just give up too soon?

I don’t have an answer, when she asks me again,
                 I thought you said you've moved on?
And I mean…

I have. But I still look back at him
and the way he is
and fall in love all over again
and I know it's wrong
but goddamn it
I’ve never been quite right
and he’s just….
they’re both just….

                                sigh.
I’m so fucked up.
I can’t even answer this question
about whether my heart has made its choice-

I just love them both so much,
how can I choose between them?
I’d die for them,
I’d cut my heart out for them,
Anything they need,
anything they want,
I’d do anything in the world for them.

I thought you've moved on?
                                                                                            I thought so too.

The End

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