Sergeant Gopper was a copper;
Rode around inside a chopper.
At weekends his wife, a shopper,
Spent his wages all on ''things''
One time a brand new spacehopper
For their daughter, Gertie Gopper;
P'raps a CD by Big Bopper,
Or some lovely diamond rings.
Much as he would like to stop her
From this spending, most improper,
This poor copper, name of Gopper,
Did not know quite what to do.
For he loved his Mrs Gopper.
Never, ever would he drop her,
But he'd surely come a cropper.
Bankruptcy, before he knew.
Then he fixed it, good and proper.
On her cards he put a stop-a.
Her next purchase was a flop-a,
And she went five shades of red.
Stormed outside the clothing shop-a,
Went and bought a new woodchopper.
(Not a small one, but a whopper)
With no cards, paid cash instead.
From his murder, none could stop her
For she was a hardened shopper
And it made her mad eyes pop-a
To be blocked from spending sprees.