cardboard underneath the crease of my knees

trigger warning for self-harm
i think i keep forgetting to do this? my apologies

and today was bad, 
really bad, 
blood splattered on white bathroom tiles
and scissor blades bright and silver

i am nothing but red lines on pale peach skin 

as i break and shatter inside, 
cracks dark and dim 
and everything slushed and sloggy, 
slow and muggy in the heat of my fear

finding a way past crossroads 
and deals with the devil 

i remember the feel of skates under my feet, 
ice and crisp, cold air nipping at my fingertips
insinuating itself into the folds of my palms

it slides into my veins
and when i shiver out and blur from the picture, 
i am nothing but sadness

like the finger slings i twist my hands into 
as a fidget maneuver that takes my mind off the world and senses
if only for a moment 

because i'm not doing well 
not well at all

oh

with my blood staining fabric
and seeping from my skin. 

The End

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