my love of doctors and how I felt for 4 yrs daily
You laugh and play
When I have nothing left to say
What can I do when my nerves fracture and break
To you this is nothing just another case of crazy
It's in my head, in my head is all you can say
Yet it was all I need to break and burn
I dig that splendid knife into the table imagine it's me
Oh yes you brought out something unstable
I laugh, I laugh as all I want to do is die
Oh when I can't even move
You check my pulse everything is always okay
Oh I am so okay I could die
Don't stare at me that way
I don't want my fix
I just want something to be wrong
As my nerves being to split and crack
Dear god let this be it!
Doctor do you see me?
Doctor can you help this wounded girl?
Nothings wrong your voice so joyous
I want to take out all your hinges
Last night I bashed the bones in my hand
It helped with the pain
One hour never passed so fast
You talk behind my back saying she always comes back for more
I never did
Have you seen me scream? not so pretty now
Yes I check out as healthy
Yet my nerves are out to kill me
You give me pills
Like I can be fixed by a bottle, like I am not seriously ill
Oh doctor, is there no one like me?
Ripley's would love me
Don't give me that look oh doctor
I look sick
Pale pale pale
My body shakes
My pulse 98 sometimes 104
Oh I am so okay
The tests said so
I am not depressed
Just how do you smile when your body's nerves cut into you?
suicide never sounded so good
Don't let me wake this night
Oh doctor please shut the fuck up
I know I am "fine" but I am not "well"
Don't call me insane just because I am different I am new
New diseases never look pretty in writing
see my broken body?
ain't it grand?
I love when you smile
and say nothing is wrong
I am less important then the patients with something "wrong" I am just odd
No so great when you can't figure me out
So I must be insignificant
I must be