A million books can't help me know what to say but I promise I'll figure it out somedayMature

“I was thinking,
I’m so
insignificant
to the universe
I’m so small
just a speck
in time.”
and she tells me
she wants to be
a star someday
when she’s gone.
she said,
“I’m scared
of never knowing
what happens.
my entire consciousness
ceasing
to exist
every part of me
gone
save
for my bones.”
and we’re laying
in the damp
green grass
and I stare
and listen
to every word
she says.
How desperately
I wish
to clasp her fears
to make promises
I know
I have no right
to make.
“I want to be a star
someday
just because
that sounds pretty
to tell
someone.”
If only you knew
that everything
that comes out of your mouth
is pretty.
Of course
she’ll be
a star.
A star
among the thousands
that came
before her
and the thousands
after
but always,
she’ll be brightest.
And I think
of all the things
I’ve seen
shining
in bright lights
and pastel picture frames
and it’s been
five years
and maybe we’ve grown
but thank god
never
apart
and she’s-
terrified
she doesn’t exist
I’m a poisoned bloodstream
desperate
for everything
and she’s this
garden
of stars
and planets
I’d never
get close to
but of course
I dream
of it.
She tells me
she’s scared
and I tell her
the only things
I know how
to say
that she is billions
of things
billions
of existences
of stars
of lives
billions
of blue eyes
no-one
can forget
and it doesn’t matter
that they’ve been written about
hundreds of times
and if you heard her laugh
you’d want to know
exactly what it was
so you could do it,
too.
you’d swear
up and down
that you’d take her
everywhere
she loves
just to learn
why.
and you never knew
what there was
to see
in people
until then,
and you’d chase her
across a million sunsets
but you’d never know
how to tell her
everything
you wanted to
all your years
and all your words
are not enough
and suddenly
you don’t
have any
your mouth is dry
and you’re lost
more so
than ever
so you take her hand
and you promise
she’ll exist
as long
as there is
a place
to exist.

The End

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