ExhaustedMature

Some days
are harder
to discern
than others
there could be
a blue sky
outside
and it would be
grey and wet
in me.
it can be hard
to figure out
which things
are fake
and which
are real
and
I don't always care
my mother says
"If you can still smile
and laugh,
you'll be okay"
and I was always
so grateful
and kept the memories
of those bright moments
but these days
those moments
seem to be
few
and far between
and it's scaring me
who am I going
to become?
What
am I gonna be?
What
am I gonna do?
Suddenly
my big accomplishments
don't give me
the same excitement
as they used to
"I don't want to know
who I would be
when I wake up
from a dreamers sleep"
I keep thinking
and saying
"I wanna get better"
but I don't know
how true
that is
anymore
to endure this
to feel this
think this
but I still don't know how
to end it
make it stop
make it go away
I'm so tired
of waking up
of leaving
my bed
of trying
to find
these moments
why can't
this be over
already

The End

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