It’s been
three years
since you shattered me
like a piece of glass
across the wall
tearing every artery
and every vein
making art
with all I have
Four years
since I started
my addiction
crawling across pages
and blinking
like some light
in the distance
calling my name
I begged
and pleaded
And it was never
all the warning signs
I loved you
across the universe
and back again
Two years
since I thought
I was over it
and complete
and okay.
Again and again
I tried
to keep myself whole
and to rip you away
Like one would
rip a band-aid off
of course
you weren’t
a band-aid.
it could be so simple
because it should have been
I was simple
for you
It was so easy
it was like
slipping me
I was willing-
more than.
I would take
you gave
every brutal word
like it was something
I deserved
I needed
One year
since I’ve learned
Not a fucking word
was true
I was needy
I was clingy
I was annoying
I was
you were simply there
simply existed
to get me
out of my cage
I was not weak
for you,
I was  blind
I was everything
but ready
I was never
on the doorstep
begging death
to let me go
I was never
On the edge
without a fucking rope
I wasn’t useless
I wasn’t alone
I had you
to make everything
seem that way
to make everything feel
more than willing
to shut every door
and allow
your hands
around my throat
A day
since I realized
I was still in love with you
tormenting me
every thought
taking ahold
losing it
and not knowing
if I could come back
this time

The End

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