You can feel an inner halo.
you can write a buoyant poem
but retaining your good spirits
is harder done than wished for.
You find that joy is fallible.
When you’ve felt unfounded sadness,
when you’ve felt a senseless anger,
what to think of your contentment
but that it was baseless too?
The reason must be chemical.
And isn’t there such irony
in the emotional waveform?
That peak meant difference didn’t faze:
the trough meant it did - so much
that I no longer felt secure.
A current underlies my moods:
a river of despondency
that connects my states of feeling.
I suffer by gravity:
it plucks me out of my joy-sky.
Wanting happiness does little.
That buoying force is so fragile -
Or maybe that’s just my own...:
I struggle to maintain it.
Maybe there’s something wrong with me.
Why should I find sadness stable?
It’s a state of weakness and pain.
And yet, it acts like an anchor:
roots in my core. Why is this?
Does my spectrum need darker rays?
I could feel an inner halo,
I could write a buoyant poem,
but retaining my good spirits
was too difficult to do.
My core must be partially blue.